Elf on the Shelf

I normally wouldn't post about Christmas this early. It's time to prepare for Turkey Day. Christmas is a distant event. And yet, the stores have been playing Christmas carols and hawking pink trees and Santa cookie plates for weeks. It's way too early. I'm still eating Halloween candy. But regardless of when you think the Christmas season has begun, I think you all will agree that it will never be time for this:














This is what our fearless blogger Sarah spied in the hotel gift shop in San Diego, where she is attending a conference. She sent me that pic in the hopes that I could enlighten her on the Elf on the Shelf (EOTS) tradition and explain why it had been kept secret from her. Is it a sacred Christian ritual kept hidden from the heathens practicing other "religions?" Should she be offended that no one saw fit to let her in on the mysteries of EOTS? Or should she be proud of her super-sleuthing abilities and alert her people?

Never fear, I explained that not only have I never heard of EOTS, it is not something I would welcome into my home. Furthermore, whoever assured her EOTS is a time-honored tradition is either a sneaky-sneaky prankster or a filthy liar. Or an EOTS-worshipping cult member.

Santa is diligently making his list and checking it twice. Why send some creepy elf (who apparently travels with his own shelf) to spy on me? And why does that elf bring his own shelf anyway? Are my shelves not good enough for him? Is his precious elf-butt accustomed to only the finest shelving materials? Frankly, I'm not down with uppity elves. They make toys, for Xenu's sake. And I'm not trying to start any rumors here, but I have it on good authority that elves also make shoes. And some live in trees and make cookies. Just saying.

If you want to invite some shady elf into your home, that's your business. I don't judge. But personally, I think this whole EOTS "tradition" is a ruse.

Dear reader(s), I'm looking to you. Have you heard of this? Or - gasp! - do you particpate in EOTS?

~April